I just finished reading the Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. Several people have recommended it to me and I do feel it hits the mark. (Not just for people with cancer either). There’s also the actual lecture online you can access here: Last Lecture. This book, along with When Breath Becomes Air offer a lot of advice or guidelines on how to live your life- both cancer free and not. Only fitting that I jump to another book on advice The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck by Mark Manson. I had started this book about a year ago and was a little turned off by the tone of the author and never finished it. I’m giving it another go this time because it is a best seller, people have recommended it, and why not?
The problem with advice books is that they do their best to be a one size fits all. I guess making a personal book for everyone is not feasible but at times the advice seems a little too generic: “make the most of your time, be kind, be honest, etc.” All great advice but all things we have heard over and over from a teacher, a parent, or a mentor before. It got me thinking on some advice I have received in the past.
Work
“Teamwork makes the dream work.” And makes rhyming things even worse.
Mostly true, as long as you have a decent team.
“You’re only as strong as your weakest link.”
True, unless you get rid of your weakest link.
“Don’t delegate work you wouldn’t do or have not done to those you supervise.”
Very true, aka you’re not too big for any task.
“Fill your team with people who complement your weaknesses and oppose your views.”
True again, spirited debate always fuels a better outcome.
Life
“The hardest part is showing up.”
True, especially with anxiety.
“The loudest voice in the room is not always right.”
True, of course.
“The squeaky wheel gets the oil.”
True and the opposite of the prior. No one can give you what you don’t ask for.
“The worst they can say is no.”
True, see above and probably one of my favorites. Probably even landed me my first date with Rachel.
“Front to back.”
True, nothing else needs to be said.
“No days off.”
False, take the days off and don’t burnout.
“You miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t take.” -Wayne Gretzky -Michael Scott
“Man up.”
False, get the help you need. Don’t keep it all inside and be a insert man’s name here and punch holes in drywall. Not healthy and your patchwork won’t be as good.
Kids- This might be the area where you get the most advice in your life- solicited or not.
“Sleep when the baby sleeps.”
True, if you can neglect everything you’ve been neglecting when the baby is awake.
Every. Home. Remedy. Ever.
True, for that one person who shared it.
“Start sleep training (baby’s own room) ASAP.”
True, the first week is tough but it is so worth it.
“They grow up so fast.”
Yeah, always said, always true.
“Wipes, bring them everywhere.”
True, kids are nasty.
“When you’re overwhelmed and the baby is screaming- if nothing is wrong, put the baby in the crib, walk away for a minute or two, take some deep breaths, and keep yourselves alive.”
True, this was from my Dad (Mom gave us countless pieces of advice and counseling too) and it rang the most true. All you have to do is keep the baby alive AND yourself. Simple to say, harder to do.
There’s countless other things I’ve heard over the years that slip my mind now too. I’ll leave you with one final piece:
Don’t get cancer.
True, so true. I think I forgot about this one.
Hi Joe you give very good advice. I am thinking about you and Rachel a lot lately. I hope i spelled Rachels name right. I hope the clinic will give you news soon. Take care. Carmie