Let’s start with the meh-
See that horrible red mark? No? Exactly. There is the slightest discoloration however it feels like I put my index finger on a hot pan. More annoying since I think all I did was open a door. I’m basically the bad boy of door opening.
Feet still hurt. Nothing really new there.
I refuse to say that’s it for side effects because the curse of me writing about them and then getting more side effects lives on.
Now for the okay to good and random-
Here’s a quick palate cleanser:
Long overdue baths for the pups- clearly they are both very patriotic. They’re both currently lighting fireworks and chugging beers in the yard while singing the praises of privatized healthcare.
I just finished The Big Door Prize on Apple TV. A light easy to watch show with some mystery. Highly recommend if you’re looking for something nice and easy.
That whole submarine mess. I’ve seen more jokes and debate around it. It’s tough to feel bad for the mega rich but at the same time tough to make light of it. Maybe we just stop f’ing around with the ocean? #stoptakingcruisestoo
We have a printer still which I guess is not as uncommon as having a house phone. The printer sits right behind me and while maybe used twice a month, it randomly makes noises a few times a day while I’m working. Maybe AI is taking over?
In an effort to try to cut out some of the less healthy things I tend to eat I have purchased Rice Cakes. If salted styrofoam is good for you I guess I’ll eat it.
Reality TV gold is coming back- Bachelorette, Bachelor in Paradise, Temptation Island, you name it. “Oh Joe, that’s so trashy how can you watch that?” Easy. I have Hulu and an appetite for drama that does not involve me. Will I sit on the couch and judge people while eating something unhealthy? Yes. Will I feel bad? Absolutely not.
Speaking of drama- are we in the final stretches of political commercial free media this summer? I know there’s some out there but I feel like we’re ramping up to Old White Guy vs Old White Guy commercial season. I would pay extra money to every streaming service to remove every political commercial out there. Looking at you Hulu.
I am a new record holder. Something I can hold over my wife and kids for the rest of their lives. I successfully guessed a Taylor Swift song in under one second, beating out the so-called Swifties that live here. Flowers and gifts are welcome. This is a huge accomplishment. Did I guess any other songs right you might ask? That’s really not important here.
I went to Hobby Lobby yesterday. (I know they are a hateful organization but I’m not really sure where to buy a bunch of model paint for a children’s project that we were told about the day before). Did you know that for every white woman there are approximately 17.5 signs about their home?
Home is where the noise is.
God lives here.
In this house we spread love.
No shirt, no shoes, no service.
Let’s Eat
Put the Seat Down
Where’s the Beef?
Family. Faith. French Fries.
Leave your worries at the door.
Bruno Mars is not an Oompa Loompa
Take it easy
T-Pain is short for Tylenol Pain Free
Beware of owner, they have a gun and are not mentally stable
Whopper Whopper Whopper Whopper
It’s 8pm, do you know where your kids are?
Olive Garden- Why does the red sauce taste weird?
It’s 5 O’clock somewhere, specifically anytime I want to drink in the morning.
Stevie Wonder isn’t Actually Blind
You get the idea, all totally real signs there.
Is there such a thing as too many TVs? According to my Father’s Day gift from my wife- absolutely not.
Where are the 4 day workweeks that everyone was talking about?
Frank Sinatra- mediocre singer or great talker?
Dumb Videos I Made:
That’s all for today.
-Joe
Good LOL to end the week!