Yes, the headline is literal. I want a rock to come out of me when I pee, actually a few to be precise. Kidney stones are currently rattling around my remaining kidney. The good news- if we can call it that- is that right now the pain has not skyrocketed like last year in January when I thought I was dealing with a bad stone but instead. . . .
Again, luckily the pain is not that extreme but still a pain in my ass- literally and figuratively. Below is a good highlight of where it is:
Totally a real photo I just took, sorry I haven’t been to the gym in awhile.
Anyways, I’m still playing the waiting game. No, not this one:
The waiting on what’s next game. A week and a half until my scan which will determine if I continue with my chemo pill and monthly infusions or start over with something else. Speaking of my chemo pill, my Cabo break is over and the side effects have come back full force.
The feet are the feet- pain as always. Now though the fatigue has come back out of nowhere and my muscles are cramping randomly- back, legs, feet and even my jaw if I yawn too much. Remember when this guy sneezed and threw out his back?
A young, naive, non-professional athlete me thought “riiiiiiight, you can’t throw your back out sneezing.” I am hear to apologize to Sammy. Turns out you can hurt yourself in a variety of ways by virtually doing nothing- and I’m not even 40. What’s next- I stand up too quick at 41 and end up in a wheelchair?
Failing body aside, I have not had any panic attacks in the last week- which now means I will have one soon with my luck. All in all though I am okay. Not necessarily ideal but I tell myself it could be worse. I still have some energy- mostly in the morning and midday but still, it’s better than none. I am starting another new medication that hopefully will help with the foot pain- we shall see there and my kidney doctor is phoning in a prescription for Flomax- which will help pass the stone by…..maximizing the flow.
So if you see me in the next few weeks and I’m going to the bathroom more often, no I’m not smelling “California pancakes” - I’m trying to get a literal rock out of me.
Now for the most important part of this post- alternate titles and songs I debated using for the title.
Michael Jackson- You Rock My World= You Rock My Kidney
AC/DC- For Those About to Rock (We Salute You)= For Those Who Have a Rock (It Will Hurt You)
Michael Jackson- Rock with You= Rock in Me
Kiss- Rock and Roll All Nite= Rock Out of This Hole Tonight
The Temptations- Papa Was a Rollin’ Stone= Papa Has a Calcified Stone
ELO- Turn to Stone= Burning Stone
Scorpions- Rock You Like a Hurricane= Rock Inside Me Causes Pain
Jackson 5- Rockin Robin= Rock Has Me Hobblin’
Rolling Stones- It’s Only Rock N Roll (But I Like It)= This Rock Has to Come Out a Hole and I Won’t Like It
Simon & Garfunkel- I am a Rock= I Have a Rock
The Cramps- Uranium Rock= Urine Rock
DieMonsterDie- One Night at Devil’s Rock= I Might Have the Devil’s Rock (Inside Me)
Bill Haley- Rock Around The Clock. . . . . I’m not going to say this one.
Not all winners I know.
-Joe