On to the Next One
Let’s pick back up where we left off last week. I had my MRI Monday. To refresh your memory this MRI was to check for blockage or additional pressure on my bile ducts. Great news- it showed no blockage and little to no pressure on those ducts. Phew.
It’s about time. I guess luck is finally on my si-
Just kidding. A different four letter word that rhymes with luck was muttered as I read my MRI results. Yes the information in the first paragraph above is true- which is great. Now though, the cancer has spread to my liver.
Yup.
It’s heartbreaking. World crushing.
Months ago I thought I had some hope- a few spots that shrunk a tiny bit. Hope is fleeting though. It is a wish, a prayer, an abandonment of reason- allowing unforeseen and unexplainable forces the opportunity to take control and get the job done. It is magic in a sense- or it can be. It can also be an illusion- appearing magical before it all falls apart.
And illusion it was. I may have told myself that I didn’t get my hopes up but that was not true. Multiple treatments failed, years dealing with this, cancer continuing to spread- that small sliver of hope was a life raft. I clung to it waiting for the rescue that was an effective treatment. Yet the ship on the horizon was not a rescue boat. Rather bad news, coming to pirate away my illusion of hope.
My life raft- my fourth line of meds (Lenvima & Keytruda) was gone, deflated. Whereas years ago I was on a boat in shallow waters, I am now on a small beach ball in the middle of the ocean- no land in sight. The beach ball? Well that is Afinitor now. A targeted therapy drug that I will take everyday and hope it works. Hope, that word again. I’ll put that (word) on the shelf for now.
That’s it for now. I’m going to try to not dwell on it all as I don’t think it has hit me fully. Thank you as always for your support.
Joe