Crummy Day
Infusing more blood- type A
On my way to where the cost is steep
Can you tell me how to get?
How to get to Sesame Street (Cancer Center)Come and stay
First we’ll see how much you weigh
Then we’ll check what your vitals say
Want a drink or a treat?
Can you tell me how to get
How to get to Sesame Street (Cancer Center)Your MyChart will make you want to hide
Every emotion strikes once you step inside
To “inspiring” people just like you
“Warriors” like
What a messed up life
Crummy Day
Infusing more blood, type A
On my way to where the cost is steep
Can you tell me how to get,
How to get to Sesame Street (Cancer Center)...
How to get to Sesame Street (Cancer Center)
How to get to N.E.D.?
Welcome to Sesame Street Cancer Center. Let’s meet some of the “characters” you’ll see around here.
Big Bird
Big Bird is a cancer patient that everyone loves. He is friendly and caring and wants to hear your story- no matter what he’s going through. He might be feeling the worst he’s ever felt but if he can be there for you he’s happy.
Fun fact: Sometimes you want to give Big Bird the bird when he’s a little too cheery.
Count Von Count
Count Von Count, or the Count, is on it. He knows his meds, his dosages, how many days he’s been in treatment, what number infusion this is (check his IG) and of course- his birthday. He is sharp and catches mistakes or errors- often annoying his care team, but he knows he’s in charge of his own health and needs to stay diligent.
Fun fact: He also counts how many people are unmasked in the cancer center….
Snuffleupagus
Snuffleupagus, or Snuffy, is often seen with his best friend Big Bird who he met at an infusion appointment. Unlike his best friend, Snuffy is not as happy and cheerful. Snuffy tends to be depressed by the constant mental and physical horrors that cancer brings.
Fun fact: Snuffy’s trunk is great for consuming the copious amount of anti-depressants and cancer medicines he’s on.
Abby Cadabby
Abby is a young pediatric cancer patient. In spite of God sending one of his “strongest warriors one of his toughest battles” she remains in good spirits. Patients, nurses, doctors and everyone else love her infectious energy.
Fun fact: She is not Jojo Siwa in costume.
Bert
Bert is your oncologist. He’s straightforward and serious. At first glance he seems cold but dealing with cancer all day can be tough. He’s really great though and you trust that he has your best interests in hand.
Fun fact: Ernie and Bert are a care team or the dynamic duo as some call them.
Ernie
Ernie is Dr. Bert’s head nurse. He is on top of it all- appointments, forms, insurance coordination, and everything else in between. He’s a rock star that rounds out the team and always brings a smile to your face.
Fun fact: Ernie is the glue keeping your treatment plan together.
Cookie Monster
Cookie Monster has a serious side effect from his meds….he can’t stop eating. Cookies, chocolate, chips, candy- anything he can get his hands on. “But what about the nausea?” Cookie Monster doesn’t care and has no shame and neither should you.
Fun fact: Cookie Monster was previously obsessed with gas station psychedelics.
Grover
Grover is the cancer center medical assistant. He has been at this for years and has the perfect attitude to make you laugh and feel at ease and sometimes even question if that joke he just told was appropriate. You’re in good hands with Grover and he’ll make sure you have all the drinks and snacks and warm blankets you want.
Fun fact: Grover always makes you feel like he’s your best friend.
Elmo
Elmo sadly has tested positive for cancer and being way too damn positive and cheerful. And guess what? He’s going to make it your problem. “Look on the bright side.” “Just remember that each day is a gift.” “God has allowed you another day to rise and take on all your challenges.” And other sayings that, *let me check*, still have yet to cure cancer. Sometimes you tolerate it and other times you are almost at the point of telling them to shut the F up.
Fun fact: Elmo never knows how to read the room and tone it down.
Telly Monster
Telly Monster is scared and worried. His friends and loved ones are there to try to calm his fears and make him feel better which is lovely.
Fun fact: The worry and fear persists.
Rosita la Monstrua de las Cuevas
Rosita la Monstrua de las Cuevas, or Rosita Monster of the Caves for us gringos, is the cancer center social worker. Rosita is bilingual which allows her to help even more people. She’s compassionate and caring- looking after others. She’s always ready with resources or to listen to someone in need.
Fun fact: For a helpful character, Rosita did not win the name lottery.
Oscar the Grouch
Oscar the Grouch has a fitting name given that everyone he lives around tends to dump on him for being unhoused. He’s a lifer. Oscar has stage 4 metastatic cancer that has been a decades long game of whack-a-mole just to manage to stay alive. He’s had every side effect known to man or monster and is unhoused due to the greedy American healthcare system. So let the man live.
Fun fact: Oscar doesn’t have nice things because he feels the debt collectors may take his belongings one day from maxing out his credit for medical bills.
We’ll end with post-infusion Elmo- on a good day.
-Joe
Always love your creative posts!
Very clever❤️