The Lasso Way

I love Ted Lasso and I will not accept any slander whatsoever.

This is not a spoiler post- unless you haven’t seen the show at all.

The Ted Lasso finale just released on AppleTV. Is it a series finale or season finale? It’s hard to tell and I won’t go any further for those that haven’t watched.

Rather, I would like to talk about this show as a whole and what it has meant to me and I’m sure countless others. Most first saw Ted Lasso as a fictional commercial character- an American football coach in the “what if?” scenario that landed him coaching a soccer team overseas. Great commercials that catapulted this idea into a full fledge TV show. I had to look this up because I couldn’t recall but the first episode premiered in August of 2020. I, like many others, was looking forward to a hilarious new comedy.

And it is/was hilarious. You can’t deny that. But what I thought would be an easy going comedy that helped pass the time turned into a lot more. The first season was goofy and silly and great- much needed as a lot of the country was grappling with Covid, lockdowns and more. Mental health was starting to become a prominent issue around the country, tensions between families with opposing views and of course the loss of lives weighed heavy. I’m not saying a show can change that or solve our issues but it did distract us, even if only for an hour or so, and for a lot of people it is what we needed and still need.

As the first season transitioned into the next the tone of the show shifted. Comedy was still all around however more drama and real life started poking through. Was this intended or not? I don’t know but I am glad it did. If you’ve read my posts before you know I have depression and anxiety. While it isn’t crippling it can definitely get the best of me at times. So, to see a show tackle that head on, was nice. Was it perfect? No and I think “The Lasso Way” does that on purpose. Life is far from perfect and they do a great job showing us that. We find parts of ourselves in those imperfect moments that are both good and bad. Some need to be nurtured and some need to be gently put to the side if not useful.

I should note (if you can’t already tell) that I really really like TV.

People who aren’t fans of the show often say it is too “cheesy or silly.” While it is at times both of those things it also dances with the heaviness. Things do not always go as planned:

• Ted’s marriage dissolves.

• A coach leaves in a nasty way and becomes an enemy.

• Love doesn’t always prevail.

• Losses happen.

• Family tension abounds.

• Ted is publicly criticized for leaving a game due to a panic attack.

There are more examples as well but the point is that not everything goes the way they want.

The show at it’s core is about relationships. As Trent Crimm put it:

Trent Crimm: Ted. It's going to work.
Ted: Great. What is?
Trent Crimm: Total football.
Ted: Okay. Why?
Trent Crimm: And I'll tell you why. The Lasso way. You haven't switched tactics in a week.
Ted: I haven't?
Trent Crimm: No. You've done this over three seasons.
Ted: I have?
Trent Crimm: Yes. By slowly but surely building a club-wide culture of trust and support through thousands of imperceptible moments, all leading to their inevitable conclusion. Total Football.
Ted: Well, how about that.

And the show did that as well as any show could by showing us how our relationships shape us, effect us and help us. The relationships between teammates/coworkers, loved ones, strangers and even those who don’t like us - all play a part. So many great characters were on this show- Rebecca, Roy, Beard, Keeley, Trent, the team, Higgins- the list could go on. But each slowly revealed over the course of three seasons that they were all better off because of their relationship with Ted. It is hard to balance a show of so many characters, named after the one central character, and yet not have Ted be the sole point of this show. Storylines often ran through Ted but almost as often did not.

Laughs outnumbered tears, but it was not a runaway.

All of this to ask- why did I connect with this so much? Well he’s a parent, an employee, a son, a friend. Most importantly his struggles were real. Anyone going through any struggle with life or mental health can identify with him. He had high points but also very low points and struggles. Superhero movies or shows are great but how much can you see yourself in them? Granted I am not overseas or a successful coach but Ted’s ups and downs can be cascaded to many going through similar wins and losses.

So wtf does Ted Lasso have to do with me and cancer? Nothing directly of course but it has had an impact. People often forget that television and film are art forms in themselves. I understand that seeing this:

Sorry to the Ted Lasso folks for mentioning Fast and Furious in the same post

Art can move you though- whether it be music, painting, sculpting and on and on. A pandemic that amplified the mental health challenges many face- Ted Lasso made many feel seen and at the same time provided some relief. Season 3 debuted right before I found out cancer was back. While I have often said I knew it was coming back, I thought I had a couple years. Now I was faced with the reality of more than likely having cancer in my life more than it is not going forward- however long that may be. And I don’t type the above as a sad statement but more a fact I have to live with. Is it sad and does it really suck? Of course. But this “silly” show has allowed me to see myself and my life from a different view. It reminds me I am not alone. It lets me sit in the worst of it at times, knowing that the worst of it now won’t be constant. It allows me to acknowledge people where they are- not where I am. It makes me examine my relationships all over. It makes me feel seen, which with depression is not always easy. It reminds me that this life is not forever and cancer may speed that up, but I don’t have to let it kill me mentally either. It is a reminder to be kind- both to myself and others. The show’s other major theme as I see it.

So if you were expecting Ted Lasso to cure my cancer, sorry to disappoint. However allowing yourself to look internally and externally at your relationships in life is a healthy place to start. So “be a goldfish and go easy on yourself.” And thank you Ted Lasso.

Joe