To Ed: It Doesn't End
You have good days- what’s good differs to each of us especially physically. It could be a long workout leaving you feeling refreshed or for a lot of us it could be getting through a load of laundry without taking a break.
There’s also the mental and emotional pain. That really doesn’t go away. It can hide behind things like a good day at work, a small series of wins in your day or anything good. I implore you though to ask anyone who is grieving a loss or traumatic event- “Does it go away?” I would be hard pressed to believe you would get many affirmative answers- if any at all.
For me the mental and emotional side of this has always been the toughest. Physical pain is easier- and that’s not to say I’m not a baby about it- but normally there is a fix, and end or very good “bandaid” to help with the physical pain. Not the mental side though. And this isn’t about me but the mental pain hits me.
If you’ve read my stuff for awhile you know I’m apart of Gilda’s Club (Chicago). Gilda’s Club offers cancer patients and their loved ones a number of services for free. One of those services is group therapy sessions weekly, something I have taken part in for almost three years now. It’s crucial and can be life altering. Talk to any cancer patient and they will tell you that there are just certain things you don’t understand unless you’re part of this crappy club. The online cancer community motto is “Worst Club, Best People.” And that is true. I hope none of you have to join this club ever- stay on the outside- but in this club you have people you build quick bonds with and genuinely care about.
Ed is a part of my Gilda’s weekly group. I have never met Ed in person or known him for a long time. Still, Ed touched us all. Again, this cancer community is incredibly real, caring, intense, deep and more. Ed always attended group when he was able. I was always happy to see Ed and looked forward to his updates and his insight. Ed is a doctor. What a cruel joke for the world to play- a healer afflicted with a severe cancer.
Sadly that cancer proved deadly yesterday as the world lost Ed. First and foremost his family lost a husband, a father and more. We as a group lost Ed. The Ed who would light up talking about his family. He would tell us about the trips they took or were hoping to take. On days he had to isolate or miss activities the heartbreak was written on his face. Even in days that proved hard for Ed he would lend his expertise and advise us on our own medical ailments. The Ed I got to know was giving and caring. He talked about how getting back to work was a goal for him- to return for his patients.
His battle was really hard and really tough- for him and his family and loved ones. It is not mine to share but they all gave so much and fought so hard. No one deserves to be lost whether young or old, good or bad or any other qualified. But Ed was young, he’s good and it makes no sense for this to have happened. In talking to a few group members we all are heartbroken and it doesn’t feel real. Even in his really difficult days Ed tried his best to join our weekly Zoom meetings, some days to listen and some to talk but always to connect.
The pain is real for anyone who is lucky enough to know Ed or even just meet him. Our weekly group, the cancer community, his family, and the world lost an amazing person. But it doesn’t end, Ed will live on in spirit and through his family. And his family deserves all the love and support they can get.
Please donate to the GoFundme at the link below. Ed has two young kids and a wife who need any and all kinds of support.
LINK TO THE GOMETZ FAMILY GOFUND ME PAGE
We’ll see you later Ed.
-Joe