My oncologist called last night. It is a weird feeling to both get a feeling of excitement and dread at what could be said. Lucky for me we are still waiting. . .
The Mayo Clinic, known for their love of suspense, is hopeful to have results to us early next week. In the meantime we have a third pathologist possibly looking into the biopsy. What can I say, I love the attention.
The fun of it all is that my hopeful treatment plan of Immunotherapy then surgery may get flipped now. In all seriousness the surgery scares me more than cancer at this point. I’m going to have a Mercedes logo (without the circle) cut into my stomach and lose my kidney and some lymph nodes. I say some because we really don’t know how many will be evicted.
I have never really had a major surgery or operation before. I have been put under anesthesia only a couple of times and never anything really invasive. If you look online- which I do not recommend- people say the recovery is tough but possible of course. Normally with a smaller mass the procedure is done laparoscopically (small incisions) but with my “small volleyball” that is not a possibility. The surgeon said recovery can be anywhere from 3-6 weeks and will be tough. On the bright side I have almost every streaming service known to man.
While I’m waiting I did start with a new therapist this week, one who deals with critical illnesses specifically. I am of the belief that everyone should go to therapy- it’s like masking, if you do it and “nothing” happens, does it hurt you or anyone in any way? In all reality I do think everyone would benefit from it, even those who have it all together. I also have started going to a weekly support group at Gilda’s Club with other people who have cancer. The group is only aligned in that the participants all have some kind of cancer currently. The stages, types, and demographics are all scattered which is great. Connecting with others who are at various different stages and points in their journey has been more enlightening than I would have thought. It may be cliché but things are really put into perspective by listening to others who have gone and are going through this and know the emotions, pains, and thoughts you are thinking.
So yeah, surgery looks more and more like a reality sooner than later at this point. The fear and anxiety is definitely creeping in. Guess the bright side here is that I have more talking points for my next therapy appointment.
Best,
Joe
Very random hot take: I liked Elliot’s song in the Euphoria finale.
Think of all the good pain meds that come with major surgery… a silver lining? As someone who has been keeping Northwestern Hospital in business over the past 20yrs, I know surgery is scary and can be painful to recover from, but it will be good to get that giant mass out of you so that you can start on your recovery road! You’ve got this Joe!!!