Would You Rather
If you have kids or are around kids a lot you’ve no doubt heard “would you rather…” followed by some hypothetical either or scenario. Or if you have kids like mine you’ve probably heard these options:
“Would you rather”:
Eat candy or a lightbulb?
Have no hands or be able to fly?
Eat dog poop or a piece of paper?
Have no teeth or long fingernails?
Are these 100% true? No but only because I can’t remember the exact good choices but statements like these are thrown out often, with an occasional perplexed glance if you pick the good option. Aaaaaaaanywho, where were we?
Yes, cancer- how could I forget? So to recap, last week I had a scan that showed things are stable (maybe a tiny bit of shrinkage but we’re going with stable). Also I have been dealing with GI issues, not these:
No my GI issues can be summed up with this gif of food entering and exiting my body:
So I had an infusion appointment on Tuesday. Well so I thought:
Well my weeks of GI issues have allowed me to level up to a new level of treatment- my high score allows me to take a few weeks off treatment.
Essentially my digestive system, specifically the tail end of it, is inflamed. The meds are known to do this and in the long run a short break won’t really matter. Also the break is literally about two weeks or so which is not much at all- I’ll more than likely be allowed to return to normal right as we start the meds back up. So maybe a couple days where I don’t need to know the GPS coordinates of every bathroom near me. Yay! And apologies to the toilet paper industry for your upcoming slump in sales. Hopefully you can weather this storm.
So the Would You Rather question I alluded to: Would you rather be receiving treatment for your cancer that is quite literally destroying your insides and making you miserable OR would you like to take a medicine break and despite all logic and reassurance constantly feel a mental spiral coming on around your cancer being allowed a break from treatment as well thus thinking that your cancer is going to grow and spread and kill you sooner?
Again, the cool thing about my brain is that you can provide it all logic, reasoning and proof to prevent a spiral and its response?
So yeah, it’s been an up and down or back and forth few days BUT I think overall I’m listening to the logic side a little more now. That’s not to say that a few Xanax’s were not used to help ride out the wave or that it doesn’t fluctuate up and down a little. I do take solace in the fact that even with my old medicine regimen not working that the cancer didn’t grow rapidly. So I’m okay, honestly.
And to answer the question posed in this post…..I think I’d lean towards the meds honestly, even if I have to go through hell on them.
That’s all for now, I’ll see myself out.
-Joe
I did a happy dance when I had to delay treatment for a week. I felt pretty good, so it seemed like a reward for bad labs. Hard to start back up again knowing it meant more hell coming my way, but if I didn’t restart what would that mean?! Anyway…effing cancer. Glad you are stable.
Totally relatable, such a bittersweet predicament. I had to delay chemo due to diverticulitis. Next chemo they said the would’ve sent me home had I not traveled across the country to get there (this time labs) and so they cut me down to one chemo day, tomorrow I find out if I can go back for my next round. I’m hoping I don’t have to reschedule flights etc. Eating for my dosha has calmed my angry gut but my immune system is on the struggle bus.